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Santa Fe Adobe? You don't even know B!

The people in Santa Fe are rich. Well, at least the people who stroll along the Historic Downtown Plaza are!


You know it's fancy when the salad is only on one side of the plate!

Being in the Plaza is like attending a Georgia O'Keeffe impersonators convention.


"The Skinny Ladies in Bolero Hats Game is Strong, Y'all"

A Santa Fe inspired Poem


Gauzy tunics breeze in and out of galleries

Each shopper dripping with more turquoise than the last

Necks taught from expensive lotion and the weight of stone jewelry

Personal assistants jot down notes in a panic

Corporate spouses break in new cowboy boots

Executive haircuts cry out

"I'm trying to ignore these blisters

and the heat is causing my balls to stick to my legs."

I'm going to need a margarita


Window shopping a nice way to spend a day. The adobe architecture keeps the plaza cool enough to be outside. We didn't go into many shops because I am an adorable klutz. Just like those gals in romantic comedies.


🎶 By the time I grab my books & I give myself a look 🎶.

Ceramics make me very nervous.


We did buy these dope matching jackets though! I was a little hesitant to get them. I don't want to appropriate culture and they do have a unidentifiable Native American pattern.



My anxiety brain is a HR consultant / platform influencer, with a "hot take" on what I've been doing wrong my whole life.


Yet, since their pattern is more "Saved By the Bell" opening credits than sacred regalia, we went for it. If you feel different please leave a comment. Because as they say in PR "Our brand is listening." Our brand could also use a boost in traffic and more comments means a tick up in the Google search. Sneaky, sneaky.


Enough with the virtue signaling! What did you eat?


Club sandwich and NM Chile at The Plaza Cafe

We ate beans, delicious beans. I spent most summers and a couple-few years growing up in (Southern) New Mexico. I LOVE BEANS. We had to eat them at least once a week when I was a kid.


But my Mom's beans are whack.


(Sorry Mom, I know you are reading this.) The chile my parents like is so hot I would have to give up eating halfway through. When I was a kid, I was sure this was some new form of child unrecognized child abuse. So I no longer eat my mom's pinto beans. I either make them myself, the way I like them, or spend way too much money to have someone else make them for me.


These beans were not abusive


The beans at the The Plaza Cafe were tender, covered with red and green chile #ChristmasStyle. If my mom made beans like the ones at The Plaza Cafe, I would have never run away to my best friends house that one time. Probably wouldn't have dated that bartender in High School either.


Chef Pose

Besides eating beans we sprung for a F-A-N-C-Y, fancy dinner at Sassella.


I have never been to a restaurant this nice. I imagine the chef has a photo of himself with his arms crossed, holding a knife in a very high-profile magazine. It's the kind of place where waiters move through the dinning area like a ballet. Food runners dip in-and-out of view replacing empty plates with edible sculptures. "Thank yous" tumbled out of our mouths with every movement by a staff member.


The food was great! I wish I was a bigger douche bag and was willing to take more photos of what we ordered.

Ben's salad was a highlight. Not only was it delicious but upon taking the first bite, each leaf of romaine opened like a lotus blossom! I was so excited I squealed like a 80's movie bimbo. We skipped dessert and opted for martinis.


It's easy to spend a lot of money in Santa Fe. That's what rich people like to do on vacation, after all.


We were able to spend more on our meal by staying in a reasonably priced room. It's not exactly luxury but I recommend The Sage Hotel. The property is an easy walk to the Plaza and the included breakfast was terrific. Warm green chile breakfast burritos pilled high in the lobby. Fuck yes!


They allow pets which is essential for us.


We stayed in the Breaking Bad section of the complex. I assume it's some sort of immersive fan experience. The people in the room next to us were absolutely doing meth all night. Which is fine. That's why we travel with a dog.













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