* "...Saw a werewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic’s, and his hair was perfect
I first visited the UK in April of 2002. I had managed to save up enough cash for a plane ticket by doing part-time telemarketing. The plan was to see an acquaintance. I didn’t like my traveling companion much, but she was the one with the friend to go see and her parent’s credit card “for emergencies.” It was a good setup.
We’d have a good time until she ditched me nightly to sleep with a stranger. No judgment. She’s probably the goodwill ambassador for an exotic local at this very moment. Heavens knows she made many a Scotsman —possibly named Will— feel pretty good!
So while she took the train down to bang-town, I found ways to pass the time at the local pub.
The Twin Towers had just fallen, and being an American traveling abroad elicited an unparalleled sympathy from the locals. Everyone wanted to buy me drinks and tell me how sorry they were — A silver lining. One problem, I was not too fond of beer. Back in the states, I had settled into drinking Cosmos and Pina Coladas but visiting the United Kindom. It was made clear to me that cocktails would not be available.
Pubs had liquor but not for mixing, and even the very hip nightclub we went to in London presented me with a shot of warm booze from a premeasured pour and a can of Sprite when ordering a vodka soda.
Don’t worry. I played it cool and mixed the cocktail in my mouth like a lady.
Eventually, in the interest of diplomacy and free alcohol, I learned to like ale. I learned to like ale so much that I got a tattoo of the symbol stamped on every pint glass in the UK at the end of the trip. It’s a tattoo I don’t regret per se but does give off “drunk ol’ slag” vibes — mature and sexy.
Fast forward twenty years, in 2022, the UK cocktail scene is top-notch.
With gin being the nation’s go-to spirit and most modern clubs have done away with the premeasured setup behind the bar in favor of using a hand-held jigger, cocktails in the UK are now unique and exciting!
We started our trip in the region of Cornwall on the southernmost part of the island. We landed in the seaside towns of Falmouth / Penryn, chiefly
because I graduated from University there with a shiny new Master’s Degree.
And since graduating is a reason to celebrate, and drinking is often a part of celebrations, we celebrated a lot.
We didn’t drink many cocktails in Cornwall. However, the region does have gins that are great for sipping and are flavored with creative botanicals that need no mixer.
Interestingly enough, ice makers are not the norm in most bars and pubs. So unless you want that martini at room temperature, get a cider or cask ale.
Our first excellent cocktail was at Dolly’s Tea Room, Wine House, and Gin Palace. We could have had actual tea but opted for a set-up served with gin in the pot instead. Off the main seating area is Dolly’s bar, lined with more types and styles of gin than I had ever bothered to fathom. Tasting flights are available, as are their signature cocktails. The “tea” was delicious, and I can honestly say Dolly's scone was the best in Cornwall after eating as many scones with jam and clotted cream as I could stuff in my tea-hole.
After a restful week by the Sea, we reluctantly took the train to London. Ice makers aside, we didn’t want to leave, but that’s another blog topic, and we’re sticking to cocktails on this one!
ICE GLORIOUS ICE!
As an American, I consider myself a connoisseur of ice shapes. We all have a place in our hearts for the “good ice.” Think about your favorite ice. Do you like the little pellets? Are you crushed? Are you a perfectly translucent sphere type? London, a world-class city, now has world-class ice.
And world-class ice means world-class drinks.
After a long morning of being unable to check into our hotel, we fostered on to Europe’s busiest shopping district, Oxford Street. It was a LOT of people, especially after spending the past two years under a cloud of COVID.
Do you know those opening shots of movies where the camera pans across the bustle of a city to show just how big the city is? It was like that, and it called for a drink.
Fortunately, expensive stores like Selfridges & Co. lube up shoppers’ wallets by having a bar smack dab in the middle of the shops. We didn’t buy fancy scarves or perfume, but we did have a fantastic negroni containing ice like diamonds, perfect little cubes, and so darn many of them!
*We're as rich as we are drunk!
*not very
Later that night, we checked out The Beachcomber, a tiki bar near our hotel. My husband was already wearing his most tropical shirt, and it seemed like an excellent place to vacation it up!
Despite the COVID cozy seating, we enjoyed the rum-based drinks on the menu.
The tight seating didn’t seem to matter as much after the first round.
The menu was creative, and each concoction had just how alcoholic it was printed next to it.
Keep Calm and Drink on!
The next night we hit Cahoots, a 1940’s themed bar in an abandoned train station in SoHo. We barely got in for a one-hour time slot, but after making nice with our very cool waiter, he finagled us the table for the evening. There is an escape room in the bar, but something about escaping a locked room during WWII didn’t appeal to my Jewish husband, so we skipped the experience. But, of course, we didn’t skip the drinks; they were worth imagining the war as fun!
We're in Cahoots!
On our last night in town, we stumbled upon The Cocktail Trading Co. while visiting Brick Lane in London's Bethnal Green Neighborhood. The neighborhood is at near-constant risk of gentrification but isn’t everywhere? I could expand upon my thoughts on gentrification, but instead, I invite you to do so in the comments if you must.
This post is still just about cocktails!
As of July, the Cocktails at this joint are “Hustles & Heists” themed. Each cocktail comes in a whimsical, and I mean WHIMSICAL glass. Drinks ordered came in everything from a chicken leg to a wooden crate, and one special elixir, “The Bank Job,” arrived at our table in a safe! A FUCKING SAFE, Y’ALL! Not to mention the bevy of perfect ice that came with them, including a hand-cut chunk in the “Five Families” cocktail topped with an amaretto cookie like a real I-talian Pisano.
WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT?
fish and chips be damned. You’ll want to loosen your belt a notch when you read the next blog post.
Those drink glasses are whimsical AF. The safe one confused me though. Between the questionable photo hanging out of it and your "shhh" face, i thought it was some kind of bondage theme at first glance. 😅